It is a mystery to have been known all my life by someone else more than I know my self. To find the depths of my own heart after struggling to peel away my self deciet, only to find that some has been waiting for me there all along and loving me, is perhapse the baffling unearened priverledge of the Christian. To know that the one you follow has truly been following you all of your life is to see the hound of heaven. In this rabid pursuit, this unending chase, I am found in seeing lostness of my self. I am truly lost, and yet I am here in this place that I know so well. Failure, weakness, depravity, I drink this cup again. Here in this place I know so well, I find that i do not know who I am, and yet finding that I do not know who I am, who He is becomes so clear.
What does it mean to follow Him?
To be utterly lost with no escape, crying out with bitter violent silence, hoping that the blood will never loose its power.
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